At the last election Conservatives won 10, 703, 653 votes, Labour 8,609,527
and Liberal Democrats 6,836.824. Over 15,000,000 registered voters chose not to vote.
There will be an associated “Vote For Someone” event at Shakespeare’s, Gibraltar St, Sheffield, on 27th March 2015 from 7.30pm, as part of the Festival of Debate.
Festival of Debate website here:
Facebook event here:
Video by Richard Bolam.
Vote For Someone
I’m walking down the street, and I’m looking at the picture,
And the poor are growing poorer, and the rich are growing richer,
But I haven’t that much anger, I’m not radical or wild,
I’ve got a good sense of humour, I’m moderate to mild,
I don’t look for trouble, and while the world grows dafter
I stick to the Holy Trinity, food and love and laughter –
Let’s go to the movies later… Shall we get a box of Maltesers and watch
Graham Norton tonight?… O, I’d love to do that, yea, let’s go to T.K. Maxx,
I’d like to see if they’ve got any of those Tommy Hillﬁgger jeans I really like.
So I haven’t much to say about the state of the nation,
And I don’t get road rage, I get road mild irritation,
And mild irritation that now everything’s a joke,
Except terrorism, climate change and the rhubarb situation
Because everything’s ironic, and I’m just a simple bloke
Who is getting older, and I haven’t so much hair,
My face is full of wrinkles, like spiders everywhere,
And there’s too much on the Internet, and it’s all so confusing,
Some of it’s just crap, and some of it’s amusing
But you can’t work out what’s going on, people are making up all sorts, you
can’t tell the difference between cartoons and real life, and there’s videos on
YouTube of sheep wearing girdles of electric lights and playing PONG! (you
remember that video game from the 1980s) – it’s all gone bloody mental and
it’s all gone bloody GLOBAL!
But when you’re in your 50s you stay upbeat and cheerful,
The way you do, you might as well, now you know you’re mortal.
Though there are acronyms I hear that cause me waves of strife,
So I met this person IRL… which means In Real Life,
It used to be work hard, and survival of the ﬁttest,
Now we’re spinning faster, it’s survival of the quickest,
What’s App, Snapchat, Twitter, our brains have gone digital,
It’s over, the Luddites have lost, SITUATION CRITICAL
Do you know how much time people do spend on Facebook? Have you seen
them all tuned in like aliens with their heads bent to their screens waiting for
messages from spaceships while they wait for trains on railway station
While swallows swoop overhead in the blue-black midnight sky…
I know, I’m just an old school, old fool,
but inside I’m cool, I’ve got my own I-Pad,
I can ask questions to Sirry in a strange voice using careful enunciation…
Siri, what shall we have for tea tonight?
I suggest try Jamie Oliver. Please don’t use Delia. So last summer.
Siri, in a global economy is there still
Any point in national democracy?
I suggest, don’t try Russell Brand.
Far too confused, too hard to understand.
Don’t try Al Murray, Pub Landlord. Comedy
Will not provide a better system for the country.
Refer to Tony Benn, is my best suggestion,
Because he always asked the quintessential question –
Is it the right thing to do? It’s a moral decision.
I thought morality was dead, declared not post-modern,
But I’m glad that it’s still here, for as the sky is blue,
As rivers run, and starlight shines, we still believe it’s true,
It’s just do unto others as you’d have them do to you,
Which is better than religion, transcends truth or ﬁction.
So don’t be confused by YouTube, just remember priorities,
Friends, family, fuddles, and ﬁghting for minorities,
And we should know by now what democracy is NOT
But it’s still the best idea that anybody’s got.
So in the next election, you know the right way to vote
And it might rhyme with bean or it might rhyme with neighbour,
But Vote for Someone, and make it the right person
Or I shall hold you personally responsible for the privatisation of the National
Health Service, and other insidious forms of discrimination, and I don’t mean
But I’m moderate to mild, so I haven’t got the answer,
Because the people want cars to go with their karma,
And the people want dogma to go with their lager.